Hope For A Sick Heart

Theresa here…from Australia…

I may not have shared completely why I have come to Australia for two months.

I invite you to listen to episode 198 on the Kingdom Mentor Academy to really understand this and explain some of the pivot for building legacy. Click here to listen. Hope For A Sick Heart.

So amidst this amazing time here with dear friends who have taken me under their care, I have had some processing. I shared this on Instagram/Facebook…and wanted to share with you as so many of you are praying.

This morning I processed some grief that was lying just under the surface of my soul.

I’ve been in a very safe place for a week which has taken the wear off my mind and brought laughter, wisdom and care! Thanks to Lynne and her husband Darren).

Some truths I have had to face in the embrace of God’s huge grace:

I have to continually “take it to Jesus.”

“Allowing them to decline with dignity is what we would want for ourselves if we were the patient. “ YouVersion Journal Norma

My apprehensions and lack of answers from Dave prevented me from asking pointed questions. I should have asked him more about his anxiety or his feelings of dying.

He would not talk with me much with the anxiety… I know he was verbally always contending for his miracle….

I was so used to watching Dave endure so much pain and conquer his fears that I never thought that he just might have a fear of death. Maybe he was still trying to be strong on his children and my behalf…

I was judged by a few people in how I took care of him or I was not doing a good job! No need for details….. I’ve forgiven and gone on from there.

I remember a few years before he passed when we were in his F-150 truck. He reached up to the built in recorder and said “I love you Theresa…”

We were both silent after he did that. It was rather eerie.

I looked at him and shared how I felt that was his last words he’d say. He looked at me and said “I do too,”.

We laughed a little. I never forgot it and before someone took his truck I recorded that recording on my iPhone.

No matter where you may be in your grief journey… loss of loved one, loss of friendship, loss of something very dear to you, keep taking it to Jesus!

#memoriescominginaustralia

Just yesterday I cracked open some audios…the one listed above and then one during his final days. He was answering questions from the hospice nurse.

This was quite emotional. Dave’s voice weak saying things like he had no pain… It wasn’t time for him to go…and his quiet crying…Taylor the hospice nurse was amazing.

I know at that stage I had relief with hospice…Glad my children were with me… and actually ready for Dave to be out of pain. He was not in that medical bed long.

As he slept Sunday morning, the day he passed, I wonder now if he was not just going in and out. Some friends came over for a visit and he seemed quite agitated.

He went out totally unconscious shortly after they left and never woke up.

As I processed this, one of my friends who I’ve known for over three years with screen time (Facetime, Zoom, texts etc) came over and gave me a huge hug. Just meeting her in the flesh and seeing her pain (she just lost her mom) gave me this surge of peace.

I’ve had lots of ups and really just a few downs. My time here in Australia has been freeing. I took a walk by the harbor one day by myself and was totally on a “high” (Watch Video below)

I am grieving. I am full of hope. And I am determined to carry on a legacy of loving Jesus and speaking hope for others. Just like dave did…. 

Thank you for allowing me to share.

Do you need hope for your heart that feels sick?

Please listen to this episode..above.

I’m always an e-mail away…yes even in Australia friend.

Be you.

In the Vine,

Theresa

Be you.