About the Fight Song:
Oh how I have struggled coming up to this birthday.
60.
It has not sat well with me.
I’ve asked for “do overs” to God saying “That’s not how I work Tee.”
Do over as a wife, mom, friend.
“I feel like I missed it,” I recently said to a safe place friend.
She asked: “What would your life be like 20 years ago…in those areas of your life you feel you missed it?”
I thought. And honestly answered.
“I would be full of self, performance and fear driving me forward. I’d lose myself and my family in the process…”
Maybe you can relate to feeling like you missed it. But as I ponder this I realize how God uses all our misses and pains of life to shape us to be the best version reflecting Him. And I realize you get to help others in the areas you’ve overcome.
Then I realize it really comes down to identity. I recently read this.
“Our value in this life comes not from what we can accomplish or achieve but in who we are.”
So this is the beauty of process and it involves a relationship with God. I have strived many years for approval thinking I was never enough…too fat, too ugly, too……too not smart enough.
When I crashed after losing this one job for social media, I lost all the props that was holding my identity.
I started to understand my identity bit by bit..II continued more with earnest to listen to the Vinedresser…I think I started to learn my identity from those writings of God talking to me.
A journey that continues…understanding I’m His much loved daughter. Feelings don’t help me with this but I don’t stuff them any more.
The Word and Spirit penetrating my heart helps me understand that I am His. A voice and ambassador for transformation as His much love daughter.
A process still…. But He said He put a fighting spirit inside of me for the Kingdom…..and a voice to remind you….”Carry on Soldier”.
My musing on my 60th birthday.
Can you relate?
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